Rough Justice

by Asi van Dit

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Tuesday 29th July

Flung Chow Wong - Male Human Monk (FW TF) - Ian Luxton
Jack Rabbit - Male Halfling Thief - Darryl Sherwood
Polly Ester - Female Human Bard - NPC
Ulotta Puck-off - Female Shield Maiden Parry-Fighter - Edwin Muir
Finn Finnegan - Male Halfling F/T - Jeff Clendon
Halcyon - Female Priestess of Panadine - Matt Carr
Mel Licious - Dwarf Psionicist - Steven Krijnen
Hanky Chiff - Gnome Illusionist/Thief - Peter Fairbrother
Asi van Dit - Male Halfling Thief - Adrian McKinnon
DM - Andrew Earl

Simon was a hampster with a difference...

He had a long tail and hung around with a bunch of rats sailing aboard
the good ship "H.S.Endor" under the stewardship of Captain Trotter.

Well, what a lot of kafuffle over nothing! We had an excuse to rid the
World of an abomination ... a fucking psi. Some fucking cleric bitch
and my own wonderful Funken Wagnell Head-Librarian School-Monitor
decided to change professions and become lawyers. Now there is an
honourable profession ... pah!

Anyway, the psi was guilty as circumstance would have it, but Halcyon
and Flung started trying to frame the magic user Marvelon ... I don't get
it ... just cos he hates psis. Like ... well, frame the fucken lot of us
then!

They tried Speaking with Dead. The sailor said basically a short psi
done it (strike that, Your Honour - inadmissable.) Funny, Speak with Dead
scrolls started appearing everywhere. Some mischief was going on. A Priest
of Ferranti Stevens was involved - source of the scrolls.
The Priestess did some weird stuff ... feeling for thoughts ... apparently
that vindicated the psi as well. Somehow.
All the bald men were humilated on the boat ... well fair
enough ... although maybe the Imags are bald. Maybe they aren't even Imags
but bald weirdos pretending to be.

Well anyway, the dead sailor was chopped open and humilated by the two.
They poked around in his brains ... some sort of sooth-saying, I
think ... or maybe preparation for the Imags ... who made a temple shrine
there later on the very spot.

Anyway ... they said they could tell he wasn't killed by a psi, because a
psi would never kill a man by trying pick locks on his head and then
toasting marshmellows on his brain. Apparently, it would take someone
much cleverer ... but too clever so as to make a double-blind ... kinda
thing. Well, Captain Trotter was convinced. I almost was myself except for
the fact the psi did it. The sailor had told them priests the psi said
he would boil his brains.

Anyway, Mel is breathing a psi of relief now. He is off scott free. The
sailor is dead, and the killer is loose.

Apparently, the psi also had the alibi of the one-eyed Shield Maiden
Ulotta who is also deaf in two ears.
And has little sense of feel (probably why she became a frigid
bitch and wasted her womanly charms).

Well, there was much interest in the investigations. Not much was done
other than that. I think Jack Rabbit took his sex slave for a drive in
his hammock. It was good to get my own room back and of course to be
able to shelter the lovely Gina O'Tool from the harshness of the
steerage decks. If only I could shelter all those wretches ... ah well.

Later in the day, a couple of pirates came towards us. I'm not too sure
what happened ... I heard the yelling ... they called them privateers, but I
changed my mind from fighting them ... and thought I should have a final
embrace with my girl ... it could be my last ... my life was flashing
before her tits.

Well, it all ended abruptly ... a huge spike came in my cabin ... No, not
that ... what are you thinking ... a ballista bolt ... missed me undulating
arse by inches ... right through the cabin wall.

Well, I went up to the maindeck after finishing off to see what was
what ... a smokey looking Marvelon the Magician and Finn Finnegan grinning
like small boys on Guy Fawkes day. Apparently, they had trousered the
other ship with a gush of flame that lit up the whole sky. Nice work.

Even the Imag boys were going to get in on the action ... although they
showed their true disgustingness later when the Captain informed us
they would sacrifice a slave girl (this is a slave girl who was a free
girl a few days ago and was enslaved by trying to swim to our ship for
freedom from Sancho). It's a rough world here ... someone needs to stamp
some law and order into these people.

Obviously we were pretty angry about this. Apparently not angry enough
to hack the shrine where this sacrilege was going to take place.
Sometimes I wonder about the convictions of those who rule our religions.

Anyway, I thought fuck this ... went up to the shadowy shirt-lifters and
told 'em not to do it. Most of the party was against the killing, but I
was surprised to see Hanky and Finn preparing some popcorn to snack on
for the occurrence ... they better be careful.

Well, we tried speaking to the Captain about not selling the slave
girls ... which would stop the whole problem. He wanted 300 gp. Yeah
right - amongst the skint bastards I travel with! I contributed to a
whip round ... and after collecting from everyone, I found out it was only
going to be me that contributed. So I remembered I had misplaced some
money (and some nice jewels) next door to my cabin. I went and
retrieved them ... sweet as a nut ... and then gave the full amount to
Flung.

Job well done ... no sacrifice ... although I would have liked to have had
me a piece of those dirty Imags. The world aint big enough for 'em.

Well thats it for me
Asi signing off..
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