Known World

Helpless

(02-May-06)

"Bookem" : Bookem Danno (Jamie), Human Funken Wagnall Priest
"Min" : Mindy O'Taur (Steven Krijnen), Dwarf Psi, Healing
"Fiona" : Fiona Caltrop (AE), Half-Elf DEX Fighter
"Lon" : Lon Gon (Jeff Clendon), Half-Elf Thief
"Randy" : Randy Stopsign (Darryl Sherwood), Human Useless Psi
"Stanley" : Stanley Doff (Ian Luxton), Human Psi, ESP
"Zippo" : Zip O'Lighter (Matt Carr), Human Hob TF

Bloody Zelda.
A great chance to whack a Psi she said.
No problems for three wizards she said.
And get paid too she said.
A simple minder job she said.

And here we are, both Valandil and I, floating on a river of sewage, "held" on an uncontrolled raft.
Which is burning fiercely, and rushing towards the fucking inter-planer sewer portal.
Ten seconds and we'll both get a chance to experience planar travel.
And I'm fucking looking back up the tunnel, can't even get to see it.
Not exactly how I'd planned my first trip to other planes.

And where the fuck did Zelda get to anyway?
I'll scout them out "invisible" she said.
I'll be back soon she said.
There will be a least one Psi she said, maybe more.
Easy money she said.

And we had to climb down into the fucking sewer and run.
Cowardly fucking Dwarf. Smallbeard, more like No-beard.
I hope the fucker drowns.

And no one said anything about a Real priest.
Bloody Miracles, I just can't fathom how they work.
I wish I could move, at least I'd be able to turn and see the portal before going through.
Can see Valandil, at least he's looking forwards.
Wonder what he's thinking?

And who were those guys at the top of the ladder anyway?
How the fuck did they know where we were?
Poor Cirdan looked like he'd seen a ghost when the big Hob bastard ripped off the manhole cover.
And he fell straight into the river, probably through the portal already.

And why didn't the "sleep" spells slow them down?
Surely Valandil got his off as well?
Still, casting from a floating raft at a moment's notice was a bit tricky.
Wish I had had that fucking fireball spell.

Jeez it's noisy down here, no wonder that Winston guy used a bloody pad.
I guess we'll see him and Smallbeard on the other side.
How come they didn't get "held"?
We wizards are supposed to have the good fucking saves, not bloody thieves.

Shit, the flames are licking up round Valandil's feet now. His robe is charring.
Poor bastard, hopefully we'll be in the water soon and won't get too painfully burnt.
Before dying on another bloody plane. Wonder if there will be an atmosphere?
Fire, water, shit, and another plane, all at once, who'd have believed it!
Holy Guild, I feel helpless.

Can't be long now. What's that noise? A high pitched whine, just at the limit of hearing.
Getting louder, and higher pitched.
Must be bloody loud to hear it over the water noise.
Maybe ... could be the energy balance at the portal horizon.

Oh shit, why can't I see it.
Valandil's eyes, widening in shock.
Oh shit, at least I can't see it!

Fucking Z e l d a ...