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"But sir," whimpered Bookem. "It wasn't our fault!"
Lon Gon just kept quiet. Ten thousand gold pieces on his head meant he was ten times the target as the others.
"Go go go, now, " said Osterman. "Get back on the Meme. I spoke with Captain Tremain. He's off to Spite, but he's happy to drop you off, surrepticiously, at Mouthton. Head up the river to Hickford. Present these Letters of Introduction to Lieutenant Thwouse in the garrison there."
Anchored in the bay off Mouthton, the Meme made a pretty site. Pretty if anyone could see it — through the heavy rain.
The rain washed down in torrents as two jolly Jack Tars rowed the Specials ashore. Muted farewells were said, and the jolly boat disappeared into the rainy haze as the party stood on the beach and surveyed the village of Mouthton.
Situated at the mouth of the Hick river, Mouthton was a tiny fishing village. All the land around here was swamp; the Hick Swamp which stretched for leagues in every direction. And despite the rain, it stank.
Wearily, the party trudged through the mud into the village. A collection of dilapidated huts greeted them.
A figure approached in the rainy gloom: a woman in Specularum Militia uniform, spattered in mud, her hair plastered to her forehead.
"Halt!" she shouted. "Identify yourselves."
Bookem stepped forward.
"Bookem Danno, Priest of Funken Wagnall," he said. "Specularum Militia Specials. From Captain Osterman. Here are our papers."
The woman looked them over and grunted "Follow me"
She lead them into a run-down barn. At least it was waterproof.
Corporal Featherstonehaugh-Cholmondesley and her squad of eight militia were the only military presence here in Mouthton. They had been stationed here by the Hickford garrison (up the Hick river). There had been recent troubles with lizardmen up by Hickford, and it was thought prudent to station a squad in Mouthton: just in case the lizardmen cast their covetous eyes funkenwards.
"... not that we have seen any," spoke the Corporal. "Why the lizardmen would want this hole, I have no idea."
Without her helmet, she isn't too bad, thought Stanley.
"I could do wonders with your hair," quipped Randy, Hairdresser Extraordinaire.
"Anyway," continued the Corporal. "I suggest you lot leave tomorrow morning at first light. Follow the track klibwards to Hickford. It is a hard day's walk. Whatever you do, don't leave the track. The swamp is lethal."
It wasn't long before everything was utterly soaked.
"Hob's piss, I love the rain," grizzled Zip O'Lighter sarcastically.
The party had a miserable lunch of sodden iron rations, and then continued.
Early afternoon, Bookem and Opera suddenly paused: Noises up ahead through the rain. Fighting noises.
They rushed forward. There was a wagon half off the track, dead horses and a body in the mud, and four burly lizardmen fighting three hapless soldiers.
Without thought for their own safety, the party engaged. Zippo and Fiona rushed a lizardman with swords drawn. Stanley concentrated, rain spatters on his head suddenly began to hiss and sizzle from the heat. Bookem let loose an arrow. Opera fired off a spell. Lon skulked off. And Randy did his hair.
It was a short battle. The lizardmen were dispatched, but only one soldier survived: Private Stule.
Then there was a short argument as what to do with the wagon and supplies. The wagon was headed to Mouthton to resupply Corporal Featherstonehaugh-Cholmondesley's squad. Would they leave the bodies, leave the supplies, or leave everything?
Bookem quoted verbatim from the Specularum Militia's Rules of Engagement, which stated that the Fallen take top priority. So the three bodies were loaded onto the wagon, and then Zippo was hitched up like a horse, and everyone began the slow process of pushing the wagon along the muddy track.
After an hour or so, of little progress, Zippo gave up in a fit of pique and refused to pull anymore. Without his massive strength, no further movement was possible. So the wagon was pushed off the track and burned (Zippo oil), the food soiled, and just the weapons carried. Private Stule and Bookem grumbled, but they were overruled.
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