The Shield Maidens of the Zibrost Plains

An essay by Falmor Arteries, Sage of Zibrost
(Copyright Andrew Earl 1996)

Introduction

The Zibrost plains is a vast tract of land up the top of the Free Coast. It stretches from the foothills of the Tourniquet mountains 150 km funkenwards to the Zibrost river, and stretches from the coast 200 km antiwards to the Klibward Oble mountain divide. The plains are perfectly (perhaps magically) flat, smooth and level as a billiard table. They are covered with a short delicate grass which gives them the colourful name "The Sea of Grass" - a name coined by the Shield Maidens. For it is the Zibrost plains where the Shield Maidens live.

The Shield Maidens are a society of fierce warrior women. They live in a strongly traditional tribal society separate and aloof from the rest of the world. The regard themselves so aloof in fact that they see themselves as a different race - a divinely created race of women. The so-called "civilization" of the world is treated with contempt and distain because the Shield Maidens see it as a place run by men and wrecked by men. Women of the "civilized" world are seen as pale feeble creatures totally at the mercy of men and their lust.

To address this imbalance, the Shield Maidens have gone to the other extreme. Males in the Shield Maiden society are little more than concubines. Used only for procreation and recreation. They are not seen worthy even to do menial tasks. The value of a thrall's life is beneath that of the Shield Maidens' pets and (female) slaves.

Dramaticists and poets have a list of suitable adjectives used to describe Shield Maidens: proud, determined, fierce, individualistic, aloof, haughty, arrogant, insular and parochial. Much like Elves.

History

Not much of the Shield Maiden history has been written down. Historical information is passed down from mother to daughter as stories and in song. Consequently, the "Gnome Whisper" syndrome occurs and the validity of what follows cannot be guaranteed. Much information has also been obtained from Elvish records and where it contradicts the Shield Maiden stories, the author has given both sides of the story.

The Great Battle

About two and a half thousand years ago, a great magical fight took place on the area of the Know World that is now called the Zibrost plains. The Elves claim: "...vast battle of great magic [between] Alibi (ah-LEE-bee) and Bonshad (bon-SHARD) Thunderfist...". Whereas the Shield Maiden's oral tradition states: "The Great Goddess Libri (LEE-bree, an avatar of REAL) fought [with] Bone, [the] Evil One." (This "Bone" is not to be confused with Zanzibar Demonspawn who is also called "Bone" in the old Shield Maiden language. Zanzibar was known to be residing in Abyss 248footnote at that time.)

The result of the battle, or perhaps through Libri's design, was the levelling of a section of a branch of the Oble mountains to become "flat as a millpond" (the Elves). Evidently Bone (or Bonshad) derived his power from slopes and angles ("peaked and cornered thus most powerful"). So when there were none he got trapped and was "...helpless as a new-born child...". This allowed Libri (or Alibi) to invoke her(his) spell of disbanding to finally destroy Bone once and for all.

The Elves:"...and [Alibi] smote the ground mightily and a vast rent did appear at His behest swallowing Bonshad as if [he was] not there."

Whereas the Shield Maidens say: "And Libri's glands did swell. And a river of milk gushed forth and drowned Bone in a wave of magic." The Shield Maidens proudly proclaim that this river of milk is now the Zibrost river (the word "Zibrost" being a contraction of two ancient Shield Maiden words "Zibe" = magic and "Rosti" = mother's milk.) More evidence, so they say, is the fact that the water from the Zibrost river is extremely refreshing and crystal clear, indicating "magical milk".

The elves do not mention the Zibrost plains again for another two thousand years (q.v.), so we now return to Shield Maiden history.

The Pinnacle

Libri then fashioned a large pinnacle of stone and thrust it down onto the drownedfootnote body of Bone pushing it "many leagues" underground to prevent "the dreadful followers of Bone" from retrieving the body and resurrecting it. The pinnacle can still be seen to this day sticking out of the plains. It has been carved into a tower - the Sacred Tower of the Shield Maidens.

Libri then "collected"footnote a group of twelve women "The Chosen Twelve", and instilled into them the "sacred" task of guarding the pinnacle. Since all of Bone's followers were human males, Libri chose only women so as to remove the threat of inside infiltration. These "Chosen" were the first Shield Maidens, however that name did not come into fashion for another thousand years.

The Gift of Bittererb

To increase their "warrior prowess", Libri taught the Shield Maidens how to brew "bittererb". Bittererb was a hallucinogenic elixir derived from a now extinct member of the Lotus family of plants called Jerusalem footnote. It granted the consumer a "rage of unimaginable fury".

We can only speculate what form this rage took but if Shield Maiden accounts are to be believed, it must have been a sight to behold.

One story claims a whole battalion (around 1100 soldiers) was routed by a group of only seven Shield Maidens. One woman was killed and one was wounded.

Another story claims that the great hero Steinbeck was beaten in single combat by "a slip of a girl" and he spent two years as a thrall. (Needless to say, this humiliating incident does not appear in the contemporary account of Steinbeck's adventures "The Grapes of Wrath").

Bittererb also appears to be a powerful aphrodisiac, increasing the libido of the user manyfold. After battles male prisoners were, to quote oral tradition: "...thonged and ridden for the whole of the night long until Libri did shine and we could give praise for Libri's joyful gift [sex?]". The unfortunate prisoners were killed in the morning.

But perhaps, most importantly, Bittererb appears to render the consumer sterile. "...And although [male sex-slave] thralls were ridden much, Libri decided [that] The Chosen [all Shield Maidens] were [to be] barren". Libri obviously wanted to prevent males from infiltrating "...via that route"[sic].

The Shield Maidens gained a mystique from these exploits and young individualistic girls and women from all over the Known World, disillusioned with their slice of life, or perhaps intrigued by the Bittererb and its alleged effects, journeyed to the Zibrost plains to join.

This appears to be how the Shield Maidens maintained their numbers. Throughout all of those years, there is not one single account of a Shield Maiden giving birth.

The Tower

"And Libri did decree that The Pinnacle was to be fashioned into a fortress of impregnability, a tower of wondrous height and stature." This project was the carving out of the sacred pinnacle. Because the rock was so hard, and the women were continually harassed from outside by the so-called "fell followers of Bone", this project took around eight hundred years to complete. When it was finished, however, the sacred pinnacle had been turned into a tower "...and High Priestess Libri XIX did stand on the peak of the [Sacred] Tower and the lands of The Chosen did stretch as far as the eye could see". The Sacred Tower was deemed "The 5th Wonder of the Ancient World" by scribes and romantics of the timefootnote.

Now that the tower was complete, the followers of Bone "much afraid of [the military capability of] The [Sacred] Tower and [decided that they] dare not attack the Chosen Ones [any more]". Relative peace ensued - not a good state of affairs for a combat-oriented culture.

The Decline

Five hundred years ago, one hundred years after the completion of the tower, the Shield Maidens went into a bit of a decline. The original "Chosen Twelve" were long since dead and this "unimaginable fury" was now not so unimaginable. New recruits were arriving in smaller and smaller numbers and the Shield maiden population was falling dangerously low. The outside threat was much weakened and the existing population was becoming complacent and lazy.

The high priestess at the time, Libri XXII, made a controversial and some say incorrect decision. She claimed she was divinely inspired (with Augury and Commune spells) and decided that the Shield Maidens should cease the consumption of Bittererb in order to breed. Others sources claim that the Jerusalem Lotus was over-consumed and nearly extinct and thus the Shield Maidens had no choice.

Keeping in Libri's tradition, Libri XXII stipulated that: "Only baby girls are allowed." Thus the practice of keeping males solely for breeding began.

Unfortunately, without the drugs, the Shield Maiden fury was lost At first, outside cultures stayed with their leave-it-and-see attitude and the Shield Maiden numbers began to climb.

But after a decade or so, they began to realise that here was a group of almost "undefended" women for the picking. Slavers began raids into Shield Maiden settlements and were met with "mediocre opposition" at best.

The surrounding cultures hearing of this therefore began full-scale incursions into the Shield Maiden plains.

One account tells of what can only be described as incompetent slavers abducting a whole subtribe (about 30 women) for no losses. They were all pregnant!

The Shield Maidens turned to their priestess for guidance but were met with blank faces and "obtuse gestures".

Beville Shield-sister

If it wasn't for Beville Shield-sister, The Known World might not have Shield Maidens today. Beville seemed to realise what was going on and in a bloodless coup deposed the priestess rulers and declared herself the first Shield Maiden Queen. The surviving high priestesses were largely banishedfootnote and the practice of shamanism began.

Beville then united all of the disparate subtribes together and visited an astounding defeat upon a large force of slavers.

Beville probably had more affect on current Shield Maiden culture than anyone else. Amongst her changes.

She changed the name for the race from "The Chosen" to "The Shield Maidens" in recognition of the shield that they now bore into battle.
She began a massive training campaign and began the male-raid concept.
She began the OE (Outside Experience) concept that lets Shield Maidens travel to see the world "all the better to understand one's enemy".
She recognized the surprise that males have when fighting a "lightly armoured" woman fighter and thus instituted the Shield Maiden dress code (see Apparel).

The changes that Beville introduced have largely remained even today.

Most of the contemporary information that follows is from Ola and Persephone, two ex-Shield Maidens. Not much information of current Shield Maidens life has been written in the past one hundred years, but where it has been, the author has tried to include relevant quotes. Where it contradicts with Ola and Persephone's accounts, the author has included both sides.

Today

It is estimated that there are about three thousandfootnote Shield Maidens living on the Zibrost plains and "two or three handfuls" on their OE at any one time. They live in groups of about 40 to 50 women called "tribes". Each tribe is ruled over by a tribal Chief and a shaman (a priestess or witch).

Living in the Sacred Tower is the Shield Maiden Queen who commands the "Tower tribe" (about 1000 women), and indirectly all of the other tribes. The Queen has total and absolute authority and every Tribal Chief must come to visit the Sacred Tower and the Queen to pay homage at least once a season (five times a year).

The current (year of the Spetum) Queen is Queen Amia Strong-arm and, contrary to popular belief, not "Queen Sheba" footnote.

Ecology

Apart from the stationary Tower Tribe (which will be dealt with later), the Shield Maiden tribes are constantly on the move over the plains. Their diet is mainly meat which they get by hunting the wild auriochs and bethesdaefootnote. The sea of grass is littered with small spings of water (some say they are magicalfootnote) which well up, pool a bit for a day, and then drain away. Thus water is never a problem. The Shield Maidens use horses to get about and enable them to ride down the animals. They live in leather tents made of bethesdae skin which they erect each night.

The Tower Tribe has largely settled in the area around the Sacred Tower and these women grow crops and have domesticated auriochs and a few bethesdae. They have built a few permanent dwellings and have even managed a foundry where they can do simple black- smithing and metal work.

Economics

The Road Tax

The Shield Maidens charge a "tax" on all those who use the roads that border the Zibrost plains. Considering the roads are maintained mainly by the city of Zibrost, the legality of this is rather doubtful. But the Zibrost Remarkable Ruler, a woman herselffootnote, does not seem to mind. "They [the Shield Maidens] were here first, so they deserve some credit" she says.

The tax is basically an arbitrary amount collected by Shield Maiden patrols on the road. There is no guarantee that one will be taxed, and it is not unheard of for someone to be taxed many times by different patrols. Refusing to pay the tax will see the traveller's good "confiscated". Any aggressive act by the travellers will be treated with unrestrained force.

Merchants travelling on the roads have learnt to accept this tax and now just make provision for it as an expense.

On the plus side, it means that the normal plethora of bandits and highwaymen that usually haunt roads are "conspicuous by their absence" .

The money earned through this tax is used to obtain for goods and equipment that the Shield Maidens cannot make themselves.

Plains' Travellers

The Shield Maidens consider the Zibrost Plains their own and anyone stupid enough to travel on the plains themselves is fair game for the Shield Maidens. No mercy is shown in these situations and the travellers will be totally robbed. If female they will be escorted to the closest town and left penniless, or enslaved by the Shield Maidens. If male, they will be dragged bound and cheese-wired (q.v.) back to the Sacred Tower. Any resistance will be met with heavy-handed force. Killing is not at all baulked at (female or not).

If you really do want to travel on the plains, seek out a Shield Maiden in a town somewhere and ask her to escort you. Don't bother if you are male.

Male-Raids

Male-raids used to be very common, but the local cultures didn't much approve of them so the practice has been toned down a bit in recent years. And anyway, the Shield Maidens get a steady supply of men from foolish plains travellers, adventurers, the odd over-confident slaver and thrill-seekersfootnote.

The male-raid is where a large group (even whole tribe) of Shield Maidens enter the outskirts of a town and methodically grab every male human, elf or half-elf they can find. These souls are dragged back to the Sacred Tower to replenish depleted male stocks.

Politics

The Shield Maidens only make contact with the cultures that live on the borders of the Zibrost plains.

Zibrost

Probably because the current ruler of Zibrost, The Remarkable Ruler, is herself a woman, the Shield Maidens get on best with the free city of Zibrost. There is practically no animosity between Zibrost and the Shield Maidens, and they cooperate on many things.

Shield Maidens often grace the picturesque streets of Zibrost with their lithe presence, and the populace mostly welcomes this. Especially young boys and male adventurers.

The Plains of Aurioch

Although not recognized officially and despite the land not being billiard-table flat like the Zibrost plains, the Shield Maidens have claimed the top half of the plains of Aurioch for their own. This is all the land Klibwards from an imaginary line that runs from the town of Aurioch to the Klibwards source of the Oble river. They treat this land like the Zibrost plains. The Shield Maidens claim they do not wish to take any more land, nor do incursions funkenwards of this line.

The farmers and run-holders who live Klibwards of the Oble river do not view this with the same enthusiasm. They suspect that the Shield Maidens will not keep their claims to just the top half...

Honkeysville

Smack dab in the middle of Shield Maiden territory, one would think that the residents of Honkeysville would be terrified of being so close to the centre of Shield Maiden rule. However, the truth is far from this. Honkeysville regard themselves as under "Shield Maiden protection". Although Honkeysville mothers carefully lock up their sons every night.

The Free Coast

The other towns of the Free Coast that border on the Zibrost plains and the Plains of Aurioch : Sea Rune, Pusville, Druiseville Klib, Caveton, Silverton, Aurioch and Pensive view the Shield Maidens with quiet distrust. The male raids have long since stopped, so the two cultures can live together in peace. However, the towns know that if they try to take any more of the Zibrost plains for building or crops, the Shield Maidens will be on them like a rash.

Males and Society

Being a female oriented society, Shield Maidens regard all males as scumfootnote. They are lower even than the Shield Maiden's pet dogs or horses. Even menial tasks are considered too high for the males (these tasks are done by female prisoners).

Males have only one use and that is as sex thralls.

Only the most attractive and muscularfootnote male human prisoners are kept for any length of time. Non-human males, ugly ones, impotent ones or weaklings are flung into the wolverine pit to feed the Sacred Wolverine (see later).

The Cheese-wire

Males caught on the plains, through raids, or resisting the road tax are stripped, their hands lashed behind their back, gagged and then they are cheese-wired.

The cheese-wire is a clever little device. It is a loop of very thin metal wire (cheese wire) tied with a slip-knot. It is slipped over the male genital root and pulled tight. The Shield Maiden then drags the hapless male along by the wire, often from her horse, and it is up to him to keep up and not trip over. Needless to say, if he plays up or tries anything untoward, she can simply spur the horse into a gallop or give a savage jerk on the wire ... "and he won't be jerking much any more" .

Males for Recreation

Shield Maidens have an unnaturally high libido. Whether this is because of their past use of Bittererb, because of their warlike nature, because of their high level of physical fitness, or because of their recreational use of red lotusfootnote, it is not known, Consequently the main use for male prisoners is to slake their sexual appetites.

Male prisoners are normally kept in a central compound, and Shield Maidens can select one or two at any time and retire with them back to her tent for night. If necessary, she'll force-feed the thralls some red lotus. Then after a "busy" night, they'll be put back exhausted and limping, into the compound.

Shield Maidens who have done exceptional deeds are allowed to claim a male for their very own as a reward.

Males for Procreation

When the Queen decides that some more children are required, she will select some of the strongest and fecundfecund of the woman. If these Shield Maidens are from one of the roaming tribes, they will be required to return to the Tower Tribe. These Shield Maidens then choose some males who will be declared off-limits to the other women. In the ensuing season, they will be well used by the "breeders". If after one season no pregnancy is achieved, the breeder is obviously unworthy and will be required to go on a quest (determined by the High Shaman). The males she had used are slaughteredfootnote.

If she does get pregnant, the High Shaman establishes the sex of the child. If it is male it is aborted. The breeder then has another go. If the child is female, the breeder is raised in esteem and proceeds to have a life of relative luxury and privilege until birth.

At birth, the child is taken away from the mother and raised by a special group of Shield Maidens in the Tower Tribe called the Raisers. The mother is then expected to return to her own tribe.

Life as a Shield Maiden

Child

All children are brought up in the Tower Tribe. They spend the first thirteen years of their life here and are not assigned out onto the plains tribes until they are fourteen. The Raisers, a group of older Shield Maidens, are responsible for bringing the children up. They do so in a stern but fair manner. Honour is stressed most heavily.

As soon as the child can walk, she is given a dagger to play with. The most of each day is spent in weapons training. As the child grows up and gets stronger and stronger, she is introduced to different weapons.

Beville recognized that an ignorant warrior is almost as bad as a weak warrior so she made sure that the Shield Maidens are well schooled in the sciences and arts. The Tribe Shaman or one of her initiates does this part of the education.

The Blood Initiation

When the child is about six or seven, she has to undergo the rather unpleasant Blood Initiation. A disobedient thrall, a prisoner with no honour, or a captured slaver is staked out on the ground. Then a group of four children are given daggers and they are told to kill him. Needless to say this can result in a rather messy, long and drawn out death. Shield Maiden wisdom claims that this gives the children a taste of blood and instills into them the thrill of the slay.

At this stage, the shaman takes any of the girls who are showing signs of rudimentary magic. The girls will be brought up to be shamen themselves.

Puberty

When the woman reaches puberty, she is introduced amost immediately to the "pleasures of Libri". Over the next few years, this important part of the Shield Maiden's life is added to her cirriculum. She is educated on how to do it with honour and how to extract the most pleasure for herself.

The O.E.

The Overland Experience, another Beville introduced custom, is designed to let the young Shield Maidens experience the wonders of the Known World. When the woman is about 19 or 20, she and another similar aged woman are sent away from the Tribe. They must bring back an item from the four corners of the world : a Specularum cobblestone, a Porn City ribald-quill, a vial of water from the Spite river and a handful of sand from the Karawry desert.

The usefulness of the OE is suspect since it has a very high mortality rate (10%). Whether this is because of insufficient training, the naivity of the women, the out-of-place honour demands, or the desirabililty of Shield Maiden sex-slaves on the world slave markets, it is not known, but anthropologists and sages alike have repeatedly stated that the Shield Maiden society would be better off without it.

When the women return, they are welcomed as Full Shield Maidens and can choose which tribe they wish to belong. They will normally spend the rest of their life with this tribe.

Old Age

When a Shield Maiden can no longer lift her shield, she is deemed to be "past it". She is banished from the Tribe and must never return. Most Shield Maidens never live to this age dying in battle or in captivity, and those that do usually take poison to retain their honour.

Shield Maiden Law

The Queen has absolute and unquestioned power. She presides of any disputes and her decision is totally final.

For crimes against Shield Maidens by people from the outside, the Shield Maiden is always considered the innocent party. The outsider's word is worth absolutely nothing and they will be enslaved or slain and fed to the Sacred Wolverine at the drop of a feather.

For Shield Maiden versus Shield Maiden altercations, the Queen will hear both sides and often decide on a verdict straight away. For difficult cases, or any case involving high crimes, the Queen will resort to trial by combat, trial by wolverine or trial by thrall.

Trial by Combat

Most crimes are judged by trial by combat. A champion is appointed by the Queen. This is usually The Tribal Champion but it need not be.

If the offence is minor, then wrestling is done. This takes place in a large mud pitfootnote. The two women have their ankles linked together by three metres of rope and victory is achieved by forcing the opponent's back down flat into the mud. If the accused loses, then she "must be guilty" and will receive a suitable punishment ranging from a stern talking to through to a whipping.

For major crimes, the defendant must fight the champion so that "Libri can properly decide the guilt." This is a fight with weapons and is a fight to unconsciousness. If the accused loses, she is slain, mutilated or banished. If the tribal champion loses, then the accused is "obviously innocent" and is freed.

Trial by The Wolverine

For very serious crimes (treason, murder, horse killing), the Shield Maiden accused is bound and hooded and dropped into the wolverine pit. Here, the half-starved Sacred Wolverine will "decide the guilt" of the wretched woman. If she is eaten, then she must have been guilty... She may fight as best she can.

Trial by Thrall

For base crimes and petty crimes the accused is forced to fight from one to six of the strongest and spirited male thralls. They are all unarmed and she must subdue them using only her guile and fists. They are forbidden to strike her and must attempt to overbear her.

If she is overborne, then she is deemed not worthy to be a Shield Maiden and is banished. This is a very humiliating defeatfootnote.

If she wins she is deemed innocent.

To encourage the thralls to fight well, they are freed should they beat the accused, and killed should she subdue them.

The Tournament

Every year in the first week of the Grow season The Tournament is held. This is when the Queen must face challenges to her reign. This is quite an occasion and all the tribes from around the plains will attend. There is much feasting and partying.

Any Shield Maiden who wishes may enter The Tournament. All the contestants do a series of contests and the winner then goes on to compete with the current Queen.

The first contest begins on REALday and one contest is done each day of the week. In each contest, the contestants are ranked. On IMAGday, the ranks are all summed and the contestant with the lowest score is deemed the winner who then goes on to fight the incumbent Queen.

No magic is allowed in any contest. Contests:

REALday: Pulchritude Contest. The High Shaman chooses a group of ten Shield Maidens who have had a child and who are not contestants. All the contestants parade themselves in front of this group and are ranked in order of their "fierce warrior beauty"footnote.
Starday: Horse Mastery Contest. The contestant is timed around a demanding horse course.
Airday: Thrall Contest. A randomly selected thrall is given a one minute head-start and told to run to freedom. The contestant has to run him down from her horse, capture him, and bring him back. The contestants are timed.
Mid-day: Wrestle Contest. Contestants are paired off randomly and will wrestle each other in the mud pitfootnote.
Groundday: Wolverine Contest. This contest is to establish strength of will. The contestant is lowered blindfolded into the wolverine pit. The contestant is timed to see how long she can remain there without crying out or moving while the wolverine mauls her. If the contestant is goes unconscious, she is disqualified. The shamans cure any damage afterwards.
Darkday: Combat Contest. This is the last and most dangerous of the contests. Contestants are paired off randomly and must fight each other to unconsciousness with their normal (non magical) weapons. The shamans are on hand to administer cures at the end of bouts, but not during. Deaths do happen and are seen as part of the contest.
On IMAGday, there will be a contestant who is the best. The current Queen has the option of abdicating without losing any honour if she thinks this new woman would make a good Queen. If the Queen refuses to abdicate (which is usually the case), then the winning contestant goes on to compete with her. Only the Horse control, Thrall run and Mortal combat contests are done. If the Queen loses two or more of these contests, she has to abdicate her position and a new Queen is appointed. Draws, if occurring, go in the current Queen's favour. The Queen (new or not) has the option of having the loser executedfootnote if she wishes (this has only happened five times in the last six hundred years). If the Queen dies or is killed at some other time during the year, then a caretaker Queen is appointed by the High Shaman. This caretaker is usually the unsuccessful challenger of the last Tournament, or previous queens. The caretaker will rule until the next Tournament and then must step down.

Shield Maiden Apparel

If there is anything more contraversial, it is accounts of Shield Maiden clothing. The history of the Shield Maidens has many conflicting reports of what they wore in days gone by. But even with recent accounts, it is surprising how many sages claim to have "intimate apparel knowledge" never having seen a Shield Maiden first hand ! footnote This is made even more ridiculus since it is very easy to get a glimpse of a Shield Maiden. One only has to travel to Zibrost!

Shield Maidens basically have two sets of clothes. One for the Hot seasons, and one for the Cold seasons.

Both sets of garments are designed to accentuate the Shield Maiden's figure. They are delibrately designed to be brief and revealing. Many colourful descriptions abound: "Fetish armour", "...several sizes too small...", etc. The theory behind this is:

Shield Maidens tend to fight males.
The males, when viewing a scantily clad female, are surprised for an instant.
The Shield Maiden uses this instant in which to get her strike.
The Shield Maiden wins the fight.

Although other accounts (namely Barbara the Cosh) says that this is rubbish. Nevertheless, this author has himself viewed Shield Maiden apparel first hand, and is not ashamed to say that it is very exciting.

Footnotes

So says Thalian Bunyip. The Great Sage Henrik claims it was Abyss 17, but Henrik was going through his "Formative Years" at this time so we can probably discount this claim.

Some accounts say "bloated".

Megan Balmoral, current High Shaman, claims "created". Drucous Formaldehyde claims "enslaved".

Some accounts claim that this is just highly pepped-up black lotus, but considering that black lotus brings about languour and death, they can be largely discounted.

Meatue Soulraker said it was overrated.

Meatue Soulraker claims "slaughtered".

Meatue Soulraker says 5500.

The outside world, largely through ignorance, calls the Shield Maiden Queen the generic term "Queen Sheba" no matter which queen is actually ruling. Needless to say, this is now considered a derogatory expression and is looked on by Shield Maidens in a very dim light.

Auriochs are fleet-footed gazelle-like creatures. Bethesdae (plural of "Bethesda") are cattle-like creatures.

Bucknot Evergreen claims they are pools of Bethesdae urine.

Barbara the Cosh claims The Remarkable Ruler of Zibrost is an ex-Shield Maiden.

Bucknot Evergreen claims there is an illegal organization in Zibrost called the "Shield Maiden Reavers" who basically venture out on the plain to run the gauntlet with Shield Maidens.

Meatue Soulraker says "horse-shit". Barbara the Cosh says even that is too high a term. She prefers "the sticky stuff that collects between your toes after you have spent two weeks trudging nonstop."

Barbara the Cosh adds "and well-hung".

Red Lotus is a powerful aphrodisiac. It is thought to be one of the derivatives of Bittererb.

When the author inquired as to how does the Queen know they are fecund, Ola replied: "She can tell with her hands." Further questioning drew blanks.

Meatue Soulraker claims "freed".

Barbara the Cosh claims that the whole idea of women wrestling in mud was created by puerile men's fantasies. "They would like nothing more than to see the proud Shield Maiden naked and wrestling in mud with another of her ilk." Nevertheless, both Ola and Persephone agree that this is correct and it is in fact mud. The discredited Bucknot Evergreen claims that they wrestle in a pit of lime jelly.

Persephone says that "lucky" thralls are permitted to use the unfortunate overborne woman against her will thus "adding to the humiliation". But Ola disagrees. Barbara the Cosh seems to follow with Ola since she makes no reference to what would otherwise be an extremely embarassing situation.

This is another contraversial phrase. Barbara the Cosh simply says "beauty". Meatue Soulraker says "voluptuousness". Whereas Bucknot Evergreen claims "macromasia" (oversized breasts).

Barbara the Cosh states, as before, that mud is not used.

Barbara the Cosh says "banished".

Bucknot Evergreen says they usually run around "butt naked" because he claims "the Zibrost climate is warm enough".
Drucous Formaldehyde's missive translates as "scantily clad".
Meatue Soulraker says "bare breasted".
Thalian Bunyip's epic translates to "the wearing of garments many sizes too small."
Henrik just says "trim and taut".
Bucknot Evergreen, now largely discredited, comes out with the obscure "Fillet Weld All Round".

As for the Elves, the famous Elven adventurer Thomlin Auntoria states (from his memoirs written four hundred and eighty years ago): "I grieve for [my] man-servant Bosure... [he] was captured by wild women [with] flying hair, leathers awry and five-pint globes a side and [he was] senselessly spirited away..." We can only assume the expression "leathers awry" is describing the Shield Maidens' brief leather clothing and that "five-pint globes" is a reference to the Shield Maidens' macromasia. (The "pint" is an old elven measure of liquid about half a litre.)